- Make a list of all the things I am stressed about.
- Make a list of all the things I have to do.
- Make a list of all the things that make me feel better.
- Make a list of people I can call in times of stress.
- Make a list of people/activities that energize me.
- Make a list of things that make me feel guilty.
-Rip up a bunch of lists.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
plan plan plan plan plan
Operation: Make a fucking plan.
Wait, all the Operation: titles were supposed to have "damn" in them, not "fucking". I guess the game is being stepped up.
I fear that when I make plans I will become overly analytical, too focused on what I "should" be doing. Part of the plan, a big part, needs to be about being receptive to what my body needs, what my brain needs. Okay. The plan needs to be about what ***I*** need. It needs to be about responding to myself. And in this, I have trouble. I want to make a rigid schedule that will somehow allow me to do everything I need to do, everything that will make me feel better and be happy.
But that won't work. In fact, that will kill me. So, then, what do I do?
I think the first step is to make less plans. To make relaxation a part of my daily life. If work is stressing me out, I need my non-work time to feel relaxing.
I think this means not hanging out with people very much, or trying to stick to hang out situations that feel relaxing. This is difficult.
Okay. Let's make a list.
1. Stop making plans. Consider all time outside of work to be downtime. Schedule in things that must be done, like housework, bill paying, errands. Do not worry about attending parties, catching up with people, going to events. These things are off the table until further notice.
2. Eat regularly. Three meals per day. Eat lots of fruit and make sure to eat protein every day. If that means meat, it means meat.
3. Stick to the 10 pm bedtime. Make it 9:30 if you want to read before bed.
4. Be aware of what is happening in your body. Honour and validate it, even if you cannot do what the body wants. Treat your body as if it were a child.
5. Don't worry too much about WHY you feel a certain way. Allow yourself to feel what you feel. Don't try and push the feelings away; that takes more energy than having the feelings.
6. Do things you enjoy as much as possible. Spend time with people who energize you. Be direct about what you can and cannot do, about what you do and do not want to do. Allow for situations wherein you WANT to do something but CANNOT. That is okay.
7. Keep breathing.
8. Express your feelings. Find comfortable ways to do it.
9. Ask for support. Be clear about what you need.
10. Let go of guilt. It is not helping you.
This is a beginning.
Wait, all the Operation: titles were supposed to have "damn" in them, not "fucking". I guess the game is being stepped up.
I fear that when I make plans I will become overly analytical, too focused on what I "should" be doing. Part of the plan, a big part, needs to be about being receptive to what my body needs, what my brain needs. Okay. The plan needs to be about what ***I*** need. It needs to be about responding to myself. And in this, I have trouble. I want to make a rigid schedule that will somehow allow me to do everything I need to do, everything that will make me feel better and be happy.
But that won't work. In fact, that will kill me. So, then, what do I do?
I think the first step is to make less plans. To make relaxation a part of my daily life. If work is stressing me out, I need my non-work time to feel relaxing.
I think this means not hanging out with people very much, or trying to stick to hang out situations that feel relaxing. This is difficult.
Okay. Let's make a list.
1. Stop making plans. Consider all time outside of work to be downtime. Schedule in things that must be done, like housework, bill paying, errands. Do not worry about attending parties, catching up with people, going to events. These things are off the table until further notice.
2. Eat regularly. Three meals per day. Eat lots of fruit and make sure to eat protein every day. If that means meat, it means meat.
3. Stick to the 10 pm bedtime. Make it 9:30 if you want to read before bed.
4. Be aware of what is happening in your body. Honour and validate it, even if you cannot do what the body wants. Treat your body as if it were a child.
5. Don't worry too much about WHY you feel a certain way. Allow yourself to feel what you feel. Don't try and push the feelings away; that takes more energy than having the feelings.
6. Do things you enjoy as much as possible. Spend time with people who energize you. Be direct about what you can and cannot do, about what you do and do not want to do. Allow for situations wherein you WANT to do something but CANNOT. That is okay.
7. Keep breathing.
8. Express your feelings. Find comfortable ways to do it.
9. Ask for support. Be clear about what you need.
10. Let go of guilt. It is not helping you.
This is a beginning.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
it's not a diagnosis or anything...
but my therapist agrees that I am exhibiting symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.
In other news, I desperately need a vacation but have no ability to take one.
Haven't we fucking done this already? Didn't I attempt to address this issue? Why am I back where I started with bonus stress and trauma?
I am pretty goddamned angry and I need to find a way to express it safely.
In other news, I desperately need a vacation but have no ability to take one.
Haven't we fucking done this already? Didn't I attempt to address this issue? Why am I back where I started with bonus stress and trauma?
I am pretty goddamned angry and I need to find a way to express it safely.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
